Dia yang baru saja tiba ......

The first time I saw his name on my bbm contact at the bbm group, I felt, I don't wanna be your friend,bcoz u share the same name with someone whom I loved but complicated that time and bcoz u're lil bit chubby (I guess this not a good reason). But then,I add him as a contact, I don't the reason why I changed my mind, after that we started as a friend, just friend. But if I make weird, (-̩̩̩-͡ ̗--̩̩̩͡ )status he always contact me, we're talking bout lot of things like an old friend. After few months, bcoz of some simple things, sushi, sop kambing and es teler, we become close then we made a commitment, up to now, I still can't believe what happened to us? But he always said that god works in a mysterious ways, and the example of that is us...., at the first time when he said,he loved me... I felt flattered, happy, excited,unbelieavable but then I said, I loved him too, but to be honest I didn't feel anything to him. But after a couples time my feeeling through him is grow and grow and grow and I guess that feeeling is lil big rite now. Hempppphhh gw rasa ini suatu hubungan yg beresiko bgt, awalnya gw takut...., sumpah takut banget, karena dy adalah sepupu big boss gw d kantor, only god know how far is our distance social level, dan ya ampuuuuuuun, dri dlu gw ga suka berhubungan ma cowo tajiiiiiirr, takut gw, takut dy dan keluarganya ga bisa nerima keadaan gw, takut disangka i'm just chasing hid money, huaaaaaa padahal yg ada dipikiran gw, apabila seandainya kami berjodoh, menikah, gw cuma mikir waaahh senangnya nanti kita nganter anak k sekolah bareng, ngurus dy, dan lain2
Ooohh Tuhaaaaaan, what should I doooo? Gw dah terlanjur sayang banget ma dy...., dan gw sangat berharap bs jadi istrinya (walopun berat mikirin kluarganya),gw takuut kita ga bs lanjut k apa yg kami rencanakan, gw ga mau gagal lagi, gw dah trauma dgn rasa sakit ditinggalkan oleh org yg sgt gw cintai...., kdg klo inget sakit d masa lalu, ampe saat ini hati gw nyesek, gw dah ga peduli ma mantan gw, cuma rasa sakit itu kok spertinya masih ada, itu adalah my worst nightmare dan gw harap cuma terjadi 1x dlm seumur hidup gw, amiiiiiin.
Yaaaaa Allah, kabulkanlah doa kami yaaa Allah, smoga apabila kami baik untuk masing2, berikanlah jalan untuk kami ya Allah, sperti yg dy bilang, aku menjdi masa depannya....,smoga kami dpt menerima kelebihan dan kekurangan masing2, bisa saling mendukung satu sama lain, mengingatkan apabila ada yg salah, dan menjadi teman d saat suka dan sedih, dan smoga aku dpt menjdi wanita sperti yg dy inginkan, menjadi kekasih, sahabat dan ibu dari anak kami..., amin ya Allah
Btw when he called me bunda, aduuuuuuhh serasa gimana gituuuuuuuuuu